I finally had my ADHD assessment yesterday. It was after social services finally sent the information to my psychologist, who then sat me down and did the assessment interview. It took place in a tiny poky office with bright, white walls. It felt very surreal, and didn’t help that it was first thing in the morning when the event took place. I finished my bottle of water very early on, and needed the toilet for a while.

Three hours, and an awful lot of questions later, my life changed forever. ‘Yes, that’s a positive diagnosis for ADHD, more on the attention deficit part than the hyperactive, but you definitely have ADHD.”

It was a strange moment in my life, when my questions about my life were answered, when I realised why I wasn’t a typical autistic woman, why I struggled so much as I got older, why I couldn’t cope at college or when I started university. It was a mix of relief, as well as dread, as it means that the way I live my life will be completely different. I’ll have to create new strategies, potentially change my diet/go on medication to manage my condition.

But now I know why I find lectures and seminars difficult, and why I can’t seem to follow routines, as well as explaining the anger that I feel sometimes, and the feelings that I have that swing from one to the other at the drop of a hat. I know now why I struggle to sleep properly at night, and why I spend every day exhausted by life.

I’ll hopefully be seen by someone in Bristol soon, to discuss options for potential treatment of the condition. But for now, I guess I have to get some actual work done…


So, Nearly There…

Today I have the rather fun job of attending a Disabled Students Allowance assessment, to see what resources they are willing to pay for me to help me at university in September. I’m also meeting up with the social workers about this debt I’ve accumulated for myself whilst being in my care placement, as well a  making sure that I will get all the money I shall be entitled to as a student. I never liked meetings, I’ve spent an awful lot of time in meetings in my little life. It’s what happens when one is in foster care, but no matter.

But all these meetings are just reminding me how much closer my dream of university adventures is! I never would of imagined where I would be now at the age of 14, when teachers at special schools would remind me that ‘kids like you just don’t go to university’. They were so wrong, and I can finally begin to taste the dream. I’ve had obstacles put in my way over the years, but it is worth it!

One month and three days to go until I move up there! Also, best of luck to the UK folk getting their A level results today, I’m sure you will do great!